Musings on “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo”

While not the best book I have ever read, this was a book that I enjoyed. My usual page threshold is around 400 pages so at 590 pages this book was a major (but worthwhile) investment for me. I think that I was able to finish it with the help that Chris was in the UK this week AND our sound system in the living went kapput on Tuesday morning.

I enjoyed the plot, but I also enjoyed the story of the older man/younger woman relationship. While the sex aspect sort of ruined it for me, I appreciated that Lisbeth was searching and in need of a strong “father figure” in her life that just accepted her for what she is. Growing up with a father in the law profession, I think that alot of people assumed that I would follow suit. It took alot of courage to finally tell my Dad that (insert word “boring”) law and law school was not going to be my cup of tea. Rather than being disappointed, he encouraged me to figure out what was in my cup and pursue it. This actually led to my internship at F&M in which I helped the Director of Fundraising at the Lancaster American Heart Association office. This gave me a taste of promotion, meeting alot of people, begging for money…oh sorry, I don’t really do this now (well, sometimes), and getting out of the office shell and into the lives of people. People have often found my close relationship with my Dad a bit odd, but then when people are around us and feel the energy of how we play off of each other and help each other…it makes sense. Reading this book made me think about how my father would react to certain events and instances. Blomkvist supported Lisbeth and gave her a sense of ownership and responsibility which no one else had ever done. Good for both of them!

Another part of my love for reading is that I inevitably hit that one paragraph or sentence that makes me pause, re-read, and ear mark that page to go back to it.  It is usually in relation to something that I have been through over these 39 years or makes me think of someone - my brother, Chris, my Mom, Dad, a past relationship, etc. Here is a passage from this book that I want to share:

“She took a deep breath and thought about her mother, whom she had consigned to ashes that very morning. She would never be able to mend things. Her mother’s death meant that the wound would never heal, since she would never now get an answer to the questions she had wanted to ask.”

I’ve thought alot about my mother this week. I attended a funeral viewing for a work colleague’s son this week and this understandably got me thinking about loss and those things that are never said or mended…and I had alot of those with Mom. But life goes on and the wounds do eventually try to heal. Though they are never forgotten, it gets easier with time. I pray often that she sees her grandchildren playing on their playset and takes comfort in the little things that never made her happy here with me…

DVR Worry Interrupted

I was fully prepared tonight for Chris to move my DVR upstairs and to start anew..on a newer DVR. But then Chris opened the DirecTV DVR shipment and noticed (right away…no clue how the man does it) that the “new” DVR is an older model of what we already have. Not sure how that happens but needless to say it makes no sense to move my DVR upstairs and replace it with a downgrade. So I’ve managed to keep the same DVR - shows and schedules intact. And apparently my Dad will have a newer DVR when he visits and stays in our guest (which the boys call “Grandpa’s Room”) room.

The DVR Battle

I love tech. I live it at work and at home. I appreciate a good, well-crafted gadget, love video games and players, and I love my clear as crystal picture on our LED TV. But there are times when I feel like we have “too much tech.” And it often happens when it comes to our DVRs - we have three in the house. The main one downstairs…which is MY DVR and houses my weekly shows and movies that I record from HBO. There are two upstairs: the one in our bedroom with shows for Chris and the boys as well as one in the guest room…you know, in case my Dad needs to record a baseball game or something. LOL

So about every 2 years we get an upgrade on the main DVR. This means that Chris is all excited to have a piece of updated tech in the house and I’m forced to either watch the shows on the current DVR (which will get moved to our bedroom) or delete them! So last week at this time, I was told to prepare my DVR for transfer. I’ve tried desperately to watch the movies that I really want to watch (”Life As We Know It” and “The Wolfman”) and stay current on my weekly shows…which I’ve managed somewhat to do. This also means that when Chris switches in the new DVR I need to redo the recording settings, show priorities, etc. on the main DVR and the one upstairs for the boys shows (Chris is on his own for his shows…).

It’s tedious…frustrating…but for the love of tech, I will do it.

Being The Mom

Ten years ago, my highest priorities were myself and my career. The thought of taking care of and mothering two boys was the furthest thing from my mind. Then it all changed 6 1/2 years ago when I had Alex…and followed by Zachy in October 2007. That brought about the rotation of my life, the changing of hats, the shifting of priorities based on times of the year and times of the day. I made a conscious decision with my supportive husband to continue my career. It is important to me and I don’t really see myself being a stay-at-home mom.

I have proudly struggled each day through the last six years as a working mom…which happened to begin exactly 6 years ago this week when I returned from my maternity leave following Alex’s birth. Alex recently started 1st grade. This has marked an extreme shift in my role in Alex’s life that I was not overly prepared to happen. I have always been the nurturer and loving parent to Alex. Always there to shower hugs and kisses at any moment of the day. Alex has now begun to shun my outward signs of love and affection in exchange to be with Dad.

I have read many books on having boys, including a great book by Australian author Steve Biddulph called Raising Boys . This book described what I am running into…that Alex has entered into the next stage of his boyhood, where he leaves me behind in favor of learning how to become a “man” from his father or other male role model. This book has given me the most valuable advice that has kept me in good spirits with Alex…that I need to continue being his mother. I cannot take his shift in preference personally. I should not get mad. I should not be jealous. I should not make him feel guilty.  Instead, I should continue doing his laundry, putting out his clothes, getting his toothbrush ready, making his lunch and dinner (you wonder about b-fast, but that is Chris’s job…), making his bed, etc. This “tells” Alex that I am still his Mom and I can be relied upon to be there when needed.

So as he sees me take an interest in his first grade life, volunteering at school, helping with his fundraisers, going to PTO meetings, helping with homework, and all of that school stuff, I hope that he will understand how important it is that I am 100% his mom…no matter what.

Football Time

It is difficult for some to believe or understand…It’s my extreme love for football. I’d rather skip a dish of ice cream for football. I love it. It started when I was in middle school. My brother played every Saturday afternoon for Mendham High School and the Bergmans were there in full force in the stands. Dad and I would go get sandwiches, chips, and a soda to watch the game. I enjoyed Tom’s enthusiasm, passion, and meanness for the game. I didn’t even shed a tear the year that Tom broke a best friend’s (his, not mine) leg practicing football plays in our backyard. Hey…that is just part of the game. Those days with my Dad were the best and he answered all of my questions about the game…him or Uncle Bruce who was standing in the score box calling the game for our school.

I’ve had many men tell me that I do indeed know ALOT about football. Not many women can say that they’ve had potential long term boyfriends break off because “it bothers [them] that I know more about football than [them].” True story…you cannot make that up.  It was a bit perplexing. I always thought that my passion for football made me appealing to men.

Then I met Chris, hubby of my life. He enjoys my love for the game. He loves that I can answer a sports question posed by his Dad before he can. He respects that I know the names of players, rookies, etc. He loved it when I started playing fantasy football - first for two years in an all-women league run by a colleague and now two recent years in my brother’s league…a league in which Chris also participates!

Here’s to a new football season. Thankful that there is a football season. Wish me luck!