H commented to me today that I have not posted in several days. The days have gotten away from me for preparing for a sales meeting that is next week. Lots of things are done at the last minute but I have not been good at managing the other work to avoid it needing to be done this week too. On top of this are my feelings of…of what? guilt? apprehension? sadness?…leaving Z for the first time. A is my oldest and it was hard leaving him at first, but Z has been my “little one” for 6 months now and I don’t deny or feel bad saying that sometimes I’m more attached to him than I was to A. I’ve already started the list for H to refer to in order to care for Z all week - because no one else knows his schedule like I do. wink, wink…I know that I am OCD!
I know that I will be fine. The weeks of sales meetings are very busy. I basically work from 7 am until 9 pm. It is extremely tiring being “on” all day. H thinks that I am sitting by the pool all day, but I’m really not. I would really get bored doing that and then I’d miss my boys even more! And I always seem to appreciate the family more when I return. It refreshes the inevitable burnout. So even though sometimes my heart is REALLY hurting this week, I know that I’ll just hug and love them even more next Friday.
